According to Facebook, today is Friends Day. And so with great irony, the picture Facebook chose to tell me this was of someone who I am no longer friends with. Not just someone random from the distant past, but someone who was one of my greatest friends – until we had a falling out of epic proportions.
As a placid, easy-going empath I don’t generally fall out with people so this really hurt. It hurt to the core. And I know it hurt my friend too. But this isn’t a ‘woe is me’ story. This is a story about triumph and learning.
Once I had recovered from the hurt and betrayal (and there was a BIG act of betrayal involved as far as my model of friendship is concerned) I was able to stand back from the relationship and view it from a different perspective. And I came to realise that much as my friend and I had a lot of fun together, I never really felt good about myself when I was with her.
I always felt she was more attractive, more fun, got more attention (we were both single at the time) and I would quite often go home feeling unattractive and dull. And that’s not a good way to feel about yourself.
And so I began to question what positives I actually got from the friendship and came to the conclusion that despite the fun and the company, the negatives outweighed the positives. Why did I want to spend time with someone who didn’t leave me feeling uplifted and happy?
However, if the great act of betrayal had never happened, I imagine I would have stayed in that position longer. I’m a firm believer that the when we are not following the right path or taking action on something, the universe conspires to make it happen. It gets fed up waiting and gives us a nudge. These nudges are often extremely difficult and painful at the time but with hindsight, turn out to be incredible blessings.
Letting go can be uncomfortable but SO therapeutic. You have to weed your garden to allow lovely new things to grow.
That can apply to relationships as much as it can to a work situation or clearing clutter in your home. When you clear away the negative ‘stuff’, it creates space for new energy to flow in.
I had a major clear out of my living room after Christmas and I cannot tell you how much better it feels (and I do confess it’s something I had put off for a few years!). I’ve just relinquished one of my key income streams because it doesn’t fill me with joy or inspiration…. mildly scary but I feel liberated, clear and able to focus on doing what I love.
So, what do you need to let go of in your life? What is no longer serving you?
Have you got a Moaning Minnie friend who always brings you down with their negativity?
A partner, boss, friend or family member who consistently knocks your confidence?
Are you in a job you can’t stand just because it gets you by?
Or maybe your wardrobe could do with a complete overhaul (next on my list!!)?
Perhaps you need to let go of unhealthy habits and welcome in a new vibrant health regime?
There is no better time to release the unwanted and unnecessary. Don’t wait. Make a plan. Do it now. What will happen if you keep putting it off? How will you feel when you’ve unburdened yourself?
If it seems overwhelming, break it down into small steps. If you don’t want to just cut someone out of your life, limit your availability and set boundaries that suit you. Understand your values and standards and then honour them. You are worth it.
I promise you will feel lighter, more free and more ‘you’ when you do….what can be better than that? And who knows what wonderful things the universe has in store for you instead!